Greasy Fingers, Blind Pilots: “Killer Krakowski, FAA COO”, Episode #2

Step right up folks. Come hear FAA COO Henry P. “Hank” Krakowski, a/k/a the self-styled “Edgeman”, a/k/a HanKielbasa, give his sworn testimony under oath on March 7, 2002 in the matter of Keith J. Evans v. Lima Lima, United Airlines, Hank Krakowski, et al.

That’s right, folks. You asked for his deposition. We’re PUBLISHING IT.

Step right up and hear the saga of HanKielbasa’s Traveling Aviation Abattoir Airshow. In the baffling words of Hank Krakowski, “Safety is always implied”. Page 68, Line 6.

Be AMUSED as Hank opens with an unrepresented “[DUH]… Fair Enough!” in a manner that would make Big Moose of Archie Comics jealous. Page 4, Line 20.

Be ROCKETED INTO HILARITY when stunt-monger “Myopic Edgeman” crack-pilot Hank Krakowski testifies under oath, “[DUH]. Okay. I should have brought my glasses [to the deposition]”. Q. “Do you want me to see if Bill has reading glasses?”. Hank. “NO, I CAN READ FUZZY”. [Emphasis Added]… Prompting the hysterical follow-up: Q. “Do you want some better lighting?”. Page 52, Line 7-23. I love when a so-called pilot confesses to near-sightlessness under oath. It reminds me of scenes with Jack Klugman in “Twelve Angry Men” and Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny”.

Yet be INFURIATED when Hank Krakowski, current FAA COO, admits that he had concerns about putting decedent pilot Keith J. Evans in the air as part of the Lima Lima Flight Team and in a Pop Top maneuver on September 30, 1999 – AND YET HANK WENT AND DID IT ANYWAY!: “I felt he was out of position during one of the maneuvers…too close to the lead airplane”. Page 73-75, Lines 1-24. Then be OVERCOME WITH RAGE when Hank pretends not to remember which maneuver of Keith’s evoked that same concern and criticism of Hank’s. Page 74, Line 24; Page 75, Line 4-7. Page 73-75, Lines 1-24. Lying Kielbasa!

And therefore be CONFUSED as Hank Krakowski wriggles into and then out of a lie, first testifying that Keith J. Evans “was a pilot of remarkable skill”, Page 23, Line 11; then testifying directly to the contrary! Page 73-75, Lines 1-24.

Be FLABBERGASTED as the testimony and questioning confirm that, notwithstanding a lawyer attended representing “The defendants”, Hank Krakowski was actually stupid and cheap enough to attend a wrongful death deposition WITHOUT his own counsel! Page 76, Line 1-24; Page 77, Line 1-13. GLUPI KIELBASA!

Be ASTOUNDED as Hank brags of being in United’s pocket for 24 YEARS. Page 5, Line 24; Page 8, Line 15. After all, United’s comp paid for Hank’s house, Page 6, Line 7 …even considering that United “furloughed” Hank for 3 years. Page 9, Line 3.

Be CONFOUNDED as Hank breaks down by Page 8 and starts to “lose” the ability to remember. Page 8, Line 1. Page 10, Line 9-10. Page 11, Line 21. Page 20, Line 8-9. Page 24, Line 4: “No, sir, I have no knowledge”. Page 25, Line 6-24: “No, no, let me think. [DUH...] I am trying to think this through”. Page 26, Line 6. Page 26, Line 18-24. Page 28, Line 18. Page 21, Line 8-14, 24. Page 30, Line 16-24; Page 31, Line 1-16. Page 33, Line 8: “I don’t know, I don’t know”. Page 40, Line 12. Page 41, Line 22-23. Page 42, Line 1-3. Page 42, Line 8-9. Page 43, Line 5-6. Page 43, Line 12-15. Page 44, Line 7. Page 48, Line 6-23. Page 50, Line 11-22; Page 51, Line 14. Page54, Line 5. Page 56, Line 24. Page 65, Line 23-24. Page 66, Line 18. Page 70, Line 12-13. Page 74, Line 24; Page 75, Line 4-7.

Be ANGERED that United Airlines kicked once-demoted director and line pilot Hank Krakowski upstairs after he helped get his buddy Evans killed mid-air - with Hank first promoted to United’s “Director of Flight Operations Control” JUST A MONTH AFTER THE STUNT-CRASH - and then promoted to United’s “Vice President Safety, Security, and Quality Assurance”. Page 12, Line 1-2. Page 11, Line 2-4; Page 11, Line 2-3. “SAFETY”??!!! NO WONDER UNITED AIRLINES LEFT THE COCKPIT DOORS OPEN TO TERRORIST ATTACK ON 9/11/2001 - WITH HANK ON WATCH AT THE TIME!

Be DISGUSTED as Hank Krakowski testifies how he concocted a plan to play suckup kissass with United departing Vice President Hart Langer, Hank’s former direct-report boss. Page 13, Line 11-12. Page 14, Line 18. Page 14, Line 1, 7: “…it sounded like it would be ["]nice["] to put the [Lima Lima] team together and do a little farewell fly-over for him which is what we planned..." Hmmm... Putting the band back together for yet one more hazardous activity. How Chicago. How Blues Brothers. How very Belushi of Hank. Page 27, Line 1-7: “Q…there was an interest in having all United pilots fly this show for Mr. Hart Langer? A. Right.” Page 27, Line 15-24; Page 28, Line 1: “A…I shopped the issue around amongst the team members. And I believe Keith [Evans] was one of them. And I said, you know, is this something that we want to do… I said, we are doing it for free, it’s complimentary, it’s a tip of the hat to Hart. And the response was favorable”. “Q. In terms of it being desired to have it all be United Pilots in the Lima Lima, was that shopped around as well? A. Yes”.

Be BEMUSED as Hank pretends to forget how long he actually flew with Lima Lima flight team, and in which year he started. Page 15, Line 16-17. Page 25, Line 6-24. Page 26, Line 18-24. page 57, Line 9-11.

Be PERPLEXED as Hank pretends to know nothing about his ownership in Lima Lima while everything about his one-third ownership in his plane. Page 16, Line 18. Page 20, Line 10-24; Page 21, Line 1-24; Page 22, Line 1-24; Page 23, Line 1-13.

Be OUTRAGED as Hank pretends he’s not the Safety Officer of the Lima Lima flight team, belied by the documents introduced into the case. Page 17, Line 15-19. Page 19, Line 21-24; Page 20, Line 1.

Be OVERCOME with laughter as Hank testifies to his proficiency in computer graphic arts and narration. Page 17, Line 22-23. Page 18, Line 10-14.

Be INCENSED when FAA Hank Krakowski testifies that the pilot he helped get killed in 1999, Keith J. Evans, hadn’t even ever flied with him at United, and that Hank didn’t even know if others in the Lima Lima flight team had ever flown with Evans commercially. Page 23, Line 21-24; Page 24, Line 1-4.

Be MAD when you hear Hank testify that he usually flew the Number 6 call-out position of the 6-man formation and “Pop-Top”, and yet he instead flew the Number 4 position in the formation that killed Evans. Page 24, Line 16; Page 25, Line 2-5. Page 30, Line 8-9. Page 32, Line 1-2. Page 36, Line 18-24. Page 37, Line 1-23. Page 71, Line 1-11. You can bet Hank changed his usual position since he knew Evans was under-prepared for the Pop Top maneuvre.

Be CHAGRINED as Hank Krakowski testifies he has no idea how many members the Lima Lima flight team has. Page 33, Line 1-24; Page 34, Line 9.

Be DOUBTFUL when HanKielbasa’s testimony suggests he was not ejected from the Lima Lima flight team post-Evans's death, but instead departed on Hank's own volition, Page 32, Line 23-24; Page 35, Line 10; and when Hank testifies about the “expiry” of his flight licensure. Page 60, Line 3-5; Page 63, Line 13-23; Page 64, Line 1-10.

And be STEAMED when Hank testifies that the flight session that killed Keith J. Evans was the first practice that the 6-man team flew the moves in sequence - and that Keith J. Evans had not flown as pilot in an airshow previously. Page 45, Line 8-24; Page 46, Line 3. Page 48, Line 6-23. Page 48, Line 15-17.

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Hank Krakowski's (first) deposition transcript in Evans v. Lima Lima, United Airlines, Hank Krakowski et al., follows below. Stay tuned to this channel. More is to come.